3 Exercises for Emotional Regulation
Between my BPD, anxiety, and depression (not to mention ADHD), I usually find it really difficult to process emotions as they come to me. Whether it’s a fight with my partner, Richard, or a comment someone made at work that triggered me, there are so many moments that cause me to break down, cry, react, or panic, and just generally cause me emotional distress. The key isn’t stopping those hard feelings from arising, but letting them pass.
In moments like these, when I recognize my anxiety showing up in physical symptoms – sudden stomach or headache, speeding heart rate – or negative self talk, I stop myself and ask “are these feelings real and true, or did something happen that has triggered this response?” The answer, which is usually the latter, then allows me to see, uh oh, I could use some help right now. That’s when I open my toolkit and see what sticks. Or, if I am not able to see it myself, Richard now knows the things to do when he can tell I am overwhelmed and need some extra love and support. It’s the act of taking care of yourself, nurturing your inner child that is scared and hurt. Not fighting with it or adding fuel to the fire. Here are a few things I do when I need some help regulating my emotion:
Tip #1: Submerge your face in a bowl of ice water for 20 seconds.
The first time I used this tool I was surprised at how quickly it worked. After I dried off, I really did feel better. Like the spiral was cut off. So grab a big bowl, fill it with ice water, and submerge!
Tip #2: 54321 Breathing Exercise.
While taking deep, even breaths, acknowledge:
FIVE things you see around you. It could be a blanket, a spot on the ceiling, anything in your surroundings.
FOUR things you can touch around you. It could be your cat, a pillow, or your hands rubbing together.
THREE things you can hear, outside of your body. Like a cat purring, a siren, the fridge rumbling.
TWO things you can smell. I like to keep a candle in the living room and bedroom for this exact purpose. Or honestly even just smelling my hair usually works (if I washed it recently, that is).
ONE thing you can taste. If you don’t have any food or drink near you, you can observe what the inside of your mouth tastes like.
